Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Small Town Girl: What I Learned Growing Up in Rural Idaho


This is my town.
the below picture is credited to Andrew McAllister of Lookingatthewest.com
       The building in both photos is a grocery store called the Downey Food Center, or simply Jim's by the locals; next door to the store is a post office where my friend's mother has recently been promoted to postmaster. On hot summer days, I rode bikes with my brother and sisters down this street to get popsicles or candy bars from Jim’s. It's incredible how much I remember just looking at the pictures of this place. I can't help but feel that its familiar architecture is somehow my architecture too, that its roads are mapped somewhere within me, as much a part of me as the DNA coded in my chromosomes.  It's hard to describe the feeling these memories create in me. It's warm and it smells like fresh cut grass in the summer, and it sounds like the easy silence in the wake of the curfew siren that can be heard across town at noon and ten o' clock every day
     Downey is a tiny town where the summer nights are warm enough to be spent sitting in lawn chairs talking about nothing and everything. It is a country town at its roots. The paved streets of the town give way to dirt roads and fields of grass where cows and horses graze and farmers grow their crops. A farming and ranching community, one of Downey's most anticipated events of the year is the rodeo, a night when nearly every one of my town's six hundred residents gathers at the small fairgrounds to watch their friends and neighbors compete.
     Growing up in this town shaped me and taught me so much of what I know about myself. When I was twelve, I learned how to bake a cake for the county fair, a sad chocolate creation that was generously awarded a first place ribbon by the kind old ladies of the judging committee.  I first learned to drive on its winding, empty roads. I learned that I truly love graphic design and writing as the editor of my high school's yearbook. I learned so much about who I am and what I can do in the safe waters of a small pond. These memories will forever be a part of who I am; no matter how large the ocean of the world, I am comforted by the knowledge that there is a community that believes in me and thinks that I am a big fish.
     City and country life are often presented as opposites, and in some ways they are. There are no small town rodeos in the city where I now attend college. My friends here sometimes have trouble understanding just how small my hometown is, so I tell them a story. Once, I  wanted a soda from the machine in front of the store, so I literally parked my running car in the middle of Main Street, got my soda, and continued my drive home. Attempting to turn left on Main Street here is far more dangerous than that entire maneuver. I'll miss the strange freedom of living in such a small town. I'll miss the close knit community of neighbors, like the sweet old Navy veteran who played banjo on his porch and his happy, boisterous wife who spoiled us with birthday gifts and extra candy on Halloween.
      However, after moving from Downey to a college town, I've realized there is a lot to love about city life, including the sheer nearness of everything and the diversity inherent in a larger community. The convenience of twenty-four hour superstores is a constant source of amazement to me. There are so many places to be and people to meet, opportunities I never had growing up. Driving through the brightly lit streets at night with my friends makes my mind whirl with all the potential of a city with no curfew. Life among tall buildings makes me feel excited and alive. City life holds an undeniable draw, the neon glow of thousands of intertwining lives and crossing paths so close to each other. There’s so much potential to meet new people and learn new things every day.  
     It's true that my life in the country and the city have their differences, each their own advantages. Apart from these differences, though, I find that the things I love most about my life in Downey and at college are the same in that they aren't really things: they're people. Whether in the city or the country, the experiences I share with the people I love are what truly define a place for me, and in this respect, city and country life are equals. I've met so many kind and lovely people everywhere I've lived. Though it might seem cliche, I think the old saying "bloom where you're planted" has the right idea. I was born a wildflower, fed by the country sun and raised sturdy enough to weather Idaho winters. But after my transplant to the city, I've realized that the potential for growth and beauty is everywhere, even if it means leaving familiar fields behind.




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Thursday, January 29, 2015

I Miss Grocery Shopping With My Mom

       In all my past writings, I think one thing is abundantly clear: I worry. Like crazy. Which is probably why I write about how to manage stress and reasons not to worry about college, because on some level I'm still trying to teach myself. Profound introspection, I know. This time last year, while I was figuring out where I wanted to go to school and how strange it was to grow up and move away from my family, I did a lot of worrying. And crying. That's generally my decision making process. Like this:
  1. Get scared
  2. Cry
  3. Make a pros and cons list
  4. Get scared again
  5. Cry more
  6. Feel bad for crying so much
  7. Cry because you feel bad for crying
  8. Stop crying and get stressed
  9. Notice deadlines are impending
  10. Make a decision based on the list from step 3


      It's definitely neither effective nor beneficial in any way. In addition to this awful system, there were a few variations of one thing, in particular, that people told me about growing up that freaked me out like crazy:

  • "You're going to miss this"
  •  "It will go by in the blink of an eye and you'll wish you could have these days back"
  •  "These are the best days of your life"

        I heard these phrases or some iteration of them pretty often during my senior year. So I would go into this sort of frenzy, trying to appreciate every moment and carpe every diem and this is what it felt like to write a paper on a Tuesday night, to play a board game with my family, to sleep in the house I grew up in. And I'm not saying I don't appreciate those memories. I really do. I have incredibly fond memories. But my frantic attempts to appreciate and somehow preserve them didn't make these memories for me. I wasn't any happier then and my retrospection isn't any sweeter now for having been repeatedly warned that I would miss those days.
     Sometimes I do miss them; but it's not because I made myself appreciate them, or desperately tried to preserve them in memory. I miss grocery shopping with my mom, wandering the aisles of Winco and getting sushi from the deli when we were done. I miss the peace of twilight at Downata Hot Springs and lifeguarding a nearly empty pool on summer nights. I miss lazy weekends with my best friend, caring for our digital horses. But these aren't memories I made out of some panic to remember them or enjoy the supposed best days of my life to the fullest. They're the ones I made with the people I love, doing the things we always did.
     For me, the moral of this story is this: even though knowing that something will end can make you appreciate it more, there's no reason to worry or try to preserve it somehow. Every era comes to an end, no matter whether you fight or embrace the impending change. My fondest memories are the ones I made spontaneously, without thinking about it. The memories I tried to force myself to appreciate feel, well, forced. And worried, tainted by the fear that drove their creation. If such worries won't improve your tomorrow, there's no reason to let them affect the way you feel and experience your life today.
     So when some sad old person tells you that you'll miss these days, they're not entirely wrong. Maybe you will. But not in any way you can prevent, and not even in a particularly sad way. My life is different now, but it's just as happy, if not happier. Don't let anyone tell you when the best days of your life are; don't ever feel premature regret because someone says you'll want this time back. It's possible that they want a time in their life back; it's possible that you will too. But the regrets of others are not advice that necessarily applies to you. Fond memories of the past shouldn't define your future or the way you experience your life now. It's great to look back at wonderful days, but I like to believe there are a lot of good days ahead, too.
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Monday, January 26, 2015

Five Reasons Not To Worry About College

Hey. So, last night my younger sister texted me because she felt nervous about college. And I am no stranger to this feeling. In fact, I can prove how well acquainted I am with it through a fun anecdote.
Our story begins on the night of the college open house at which I received my scholarship. Faced with such incredible news, I did the logical thing, and cried for an hour and ruined my new free tee shirt with my tears and mascara. I am not proud of this. But it all seemed so overwhelming: everything was changing. And it absolutely did. But when I look back at that night, I realize I didn't have as much to fear as I thought I did. So here, with no further ado, are my five reasons not worry about college.
1. Everyone is equally scared, or LYING
Seriously though. I know I'm here telling you not to worry, but everybody is basically scared to death to go to college. But this is a comforting knowledge, I promise, because it puts the same pressures on everyone. Scared you won't make friends? So is everyone, and it will make them even friendlier. Everyone is in the same boat, and it makes it really easy to make friends and to find people to share your new experiences with.
2. There is not a scenario where you starve to death. 
Hank Green does a sweet video about this: we're hardwired from evolutionary years of the survival of the most cautious to view change and the possibility of failure with fear that it really doesn't warrant.
A few thousand years ago, you make a bad choice and you're dead. But these days that's not really the case; no matter who you are, you have a safety net, you have a network of people who care about you, and there is not a scenario where you fail catastrophically. There really isn't. Keep that in mind: the worst case scenario probably sucks a little bit, but it's highly improbable that you do any truly irreparable damage.
3. You're not ready, and that's fine. 
Here's a short list of things I didn't know how to do when I left for college:
  • open a bank account
  • jump a car
  • request my transcripts be sent
  • file taxes
  • get my car's oil changed
  • make a doctor's appointment
  • wear false eyelashes
  • make a graph in Excel
And here is a list of things that I have learned how to do, and then done, through no personal injury or discomfort:
  • open a bank account
  • jump a car
  • request my transcripts be sent
  • file taxes
  • get my car's oil changed
  • make a doctor's appointment
  • wear false eyelashes
  • make a graph in Excel
There are some things you just learn by doing. One of my favorite quotes on the earth is by Ray Bradbury: "Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down."
4. Lots of idiots go to college and do fine. 
Excuse my coarse language, but this is just a fact. Plenty of people have college degrees. Tons. It doesn't take a special kind of person to make it at college, it really doesn't. But you're probably special. And Ann, if you're reading this, you're definitely special. You're so smart and so funny and so important and you'll definitely make it. I know this because I know you. But if you are not Ann, please know that there is someone who knows you and understands the best things about you, and has confidence in you even if you don't have it yet yourself.
5. You're going to meet people you love, and do things you love, and this a tremendous opportunity. 
I mean this sincerely: people will tell you that college is the best years of your life, which I think is actually kind of annoying because it sets up the rest of your life to be awful or something. But seriously. You have a huge potential to be happy in new and unprecedented ways. C.S. Lewis wrote "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." If this doesn't describe going to college, I don't know what does (which is actually a strong possibility. But I digress). There are so many good things ahead, regardless of where you go to school or what you're looking for. Going to college means the freedom to define what matters to you and to pursue it, often surrounded by like-minded people who you will likely grow to love. So before you worry about college and what you're losing or risking, remember how much you stand to gain. A little courage goes a long way, and to be honest, even if you do freak out, you'll probably make it anyway. I know I did.
With love,
Katherine


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Sunday, January 11, 2015

The Eight Best Free Apps For College

Canvas (or your school's equivalent)
Nearly every school uses a site of some kind for all of their online assignments, announcements, etc. My school uses Canvas, which has a free app where you can take quizzes, email professors, turn in assignments and do all kinds of necessary stuff. It's a really nice app to have for last minute stuff or multitasking- think taking a science quiz in the waiting room of the optometrist or messaging a TA from the grocery checkout line.
Gmail
Gmail differs from Apple mail in a couple of really nice ways: it can switch between multiple accounts with no hoops to jump through, and has a generally comfortable interface. This could be personal preference, but Gmail works great to switch between personal email accounts and official school emails with just a click. 
Calendar
I know, this is obvious. But calendar is an incredible scheduling tool for classes and personal life alike, and it should be taken advantage of. Here's a picture of my calendar, which lists my professor's office hours (OH) and all of my classes, their times, and locations by their official catalog names, which helps keep things organized. 


As soon as the syllabus for a class is available, you can add all test dates, study sessions, due dates, whatever, to calendar, so you never miss a beat. 

Alien Blue (Reddit)
I know Reddit has a bit of a reputation as a time waster, but it's also an incredible resource for finding learning communities, experts and enthusiasts for whatever you are studying. In my case, it was a great way to see the applicability and real life interest of what I was studying, which helped me to retain more in lectures because I was genuinely interested.
The emotional impact of Star Wars music across cultures: a fascinating anthropological phenomenon.
Quizlet
If you only download one of these apps, make it Quizlet! This is a serious studying resource. It allows you to create flash cards on your phone, which are accessible from computer too. It has lots of different, awesome study techniques, but the real appeal of Quizlet is the fact that it can be used anywhere you have your phone. Finding a few extra minutes in your day to study while waiting for the bus or for class to start is a really underestimated way to improve your test scores. 


Also, the app basically handles like a dream, not to mention saves money and time on flash cards and study tools. It also ensures that you'll never lose a set of cards or a study guide: they're stored online, safe from any possible damage.
Word 
If you have Word for computer, you can get it for iPhone for free. It's perfect for emergency edits, or in the case of my very brave friend, typing a paper during class before it's due. You know what they say: absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Overdrive
Overdrive is my second favorite on this list. It's a great library app that gives you access to your university's ebook and audiobook collection for free; enter the number on your student ID or library card and you'll have access to literally thousands of awesome titles. Completely free. 
Tumblr
Tumblr is very similar to Reddit in that it can connect you to communities passionate about learning. You can follow blogs for everything from taxidermy to finances to classic literature, which is really helpful in creating meaningful connections to the content you are studying. 
Relevant, interesting stuff to make your classes more engaging
It's also a great way to unwind; a few minutes of scrolling Tumblr is a very pleasant way to relax. Or a few hours. Probably be careful with this one, honestly.

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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Outfit: Knits and Boots



There's only one time a year that it's acceptable for sixty percent of your clothes to have been yarn at one point, and that time is now. December is a time for hot chocolate, Christmas movies, and knits and boots. I'm pretty enamored with this entire look because it was so affordable, even for a poor college kid like me. The hat is made with half a skein of three dollar yarn and the boots are a beautiful college-budget friendly Timberland dupe. Here's where to get what I'm rockin':
  • Hat: made from this pattern.
  • Sweater: Ambiance, from TJ Maxx.
  • Jeans: Pacsun. A nine long. I cannot explain why Pacsun jeans are the only pants in the world that fit me well, only that they were very affordable and that you can find them online and also at basically any mall across the country. 
  • Boots: Union Bay. Macon, in wheat. Available here among other places.
I hope this inspires you as much as it did me! If nothing else, I hope you stay nice and cozy.
With Love,
Kate
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Four Quotes That Changed My Life

 
This quote was such a revelation to me. I can remember my senior year of high school, feeling tired, and cold, and PMSing, and feeling guilty for wearing sweats and no makeup. And that's ridiculous! You don't owe anyone pretty, just because you're female. Life is like a massage- just undress to your level of comfort. Okay, I put that because I thought it was funny. Probably do keep some clothes on, I'd hate to see anyone charged with public indecency- but up to that point, just chase your dream. Because you don't owe anyone prettiness.

This is from a really awesome speech he gives, which is full of adult language, including profanity and repeated use of the word "oceanographer." 
Watch if you have time, it's incredible. Essentially, his point is that your past self is not only likely much dumber than you are, but they literally don't exist. Which is a really liberating realization.

I don't think I can do justice in type to how incredible this quote is to me. Viktor Frankl survived the Holocaust, endured torture, and lost so many of his loved ones. He later wrote Man's Search For Meaning, including the eloquent quote above. This resonates with me personally because I like to do this fun thing where I have an existential crisis every couple of months. I look around at the horrible things that have happened, and continue to happen, at all of the suffering that is possible, and I wonder what the point is, how it could ever be worth it. This quote never ceases to give me hope. It's amazing that a man who experienced so fully all the misery of life can write with such beauty and conviction of hope, and of meaning. 

It's also helped me put into words what I've felt all my life- that there is something transcendent about love, and human relationships. 



This just plain makes sense. For me, this quote is all about three things:
   1. Circle of influence vs. circle of concern, Seven Habits style.

 Like, wow, it would be hella great if my math class weren't so freaking hard, but that's a little out of my circle of influence. You know what's within my circle of influence, though? Doing my math homework. It's all about fixing the things you can fix, and not worrying about the rest. For me this means spending a lot less time thinking about North Korea and a lot more time thinking about cleaning my bedroom.

    2. ANTHROPOLOGY!!!! I get so excited about this stuff. So. I think it's pretty obvious that you couldn't take on a tiger in a cage match, right? Or even a chimpanzee? Or probably even a moderately sized coyote? And yet here you are, enjoying your life at the top of the food chain, never having been torn limb from limb by the astonishingly dexterous hands of a chimpanzee. This is because the thing that makes humans survive isn't strength, it isn't sharp teeth, it isn't any one adaptation: it's adaptability itself. Humans have astonishing neural and behavioral plasticity and can adapt to survive incredible circumstances. So do what you were born to do: adapt. Take your incredible circumstances and adjust your sails, because that's what humans do best. 
  3.  Get tough. This is perhaps one of the most lasting pieces of advice my dad has ever given, and I'm not even certain he ever said it directly to me. He's a wrestling and football coach, and one year I helped out by taking stats for the team. At a long, ten hour day tournament, he was coaching one of the dozens of matches that would take place. I watched as one of his best wrestlers struggled to pin his man- he was so close, nearly had him. My dad called out just two words to him: "get tough." And he did; a look of determination came across his face and he pushed the final distance to win the match. "Get tough" may not seem all that profound, I realize. But as I went through the rest of high school, miserable, long track practices and sleepless nights as finals and graduation approached, I realized how much those words meant. Sometimes the only way to do it is to do it. To just keep moving forward, keep working, and get tough. Sometimes the winds will be a hurricane, and all you can do is adjust the sails.



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Saturday, December 27, 2014

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