Four Quotes That Changed My Life

 

This quote was such a revelation to me. I can remember my senior year of high school, feeling tired, and cold, and PMSing, and feeling guilty for wearing sweats and no makeup. And that's ridiculous! You don't owe anyone pretty, just because you're female. Life is like a massage- just undress to your level of comfort. Okay, I put that because I thought it was funny. Probably do keep some clothes on, I'd hate to see anyone charged with public indecency- but up to that point, just chase your dream. Because you don't owe anyone prettiness.

This is from a really awesome speech he gives, which is full of adult language, including profanity and repeated use of the word "oceanographer." 

Watch if you have time, it's incredible. Essentially, his point is that your past self is not only likely much dumber than you are, but they literally don't exist. Which is a really liberating realization.

I don't think I can do justice in type to how incredible this quote is to me. Viktor Frankl survived the Holocaust, endured torture, and lost so many of his loved ones. He later wrote Man's Search For Meaning, including the eloquent quote above. This resonates with me personally because I like to do this fun thing where I have an existential crisis every couple of months. I look around at the horrible things that have happened, and continue to happen, at all of the suffering that is possible, and I wonder what the point is, how it could ever be worth it. This quote never ceases to give me hope. It's amazing that a man who experienced so fully all the misery of life can write with such beauty and conviction of hope, and of meaning. 

It's also helped me put into words what I've felt all my life- that there is something transcendent about love, and human relationships. 

This just plain makes sense. For me, this quote is all about three things:

   1. Circle of influence vs. circle of concern, Seven Habits style.

 Like, wow, it would be hella great if my math class weren't so freaking hard, but that's a little out of my circle of influence. You know what's within my circle of influence, though? Doing my math homework. It's all about fixing the things you can fix, and not worrying about the rest. For me this means spending a lot less time thinking about North Korea and a lot more time thinking about cleaning my bedroom.

    2. ANTHROPOLOGY!!!! I get so excited about this stuff. So. I think it's pretty obvious that you couldn't take on a tiger in a cage match, right? Or even a chimpanzee? Or probably even a moderately sized coyote? And yet here you are, enjoying your life at the top of the food chain, never having been torn limb from limb by the astonishingly dexterous hands of a chimpanzee. This is because the thing that makes humans survive isn't strength, it isn't sharp teeth, it isn't any one adaptation: it's adaptability itself. Humans have astonishing neural and behavioral plasticity and can adapt to survive incredible circumstances. So do what you were born to do: adapt. Take your incredible circumstances and adjust your sails, because that's what humans do best. 

  3.  Get tough. This is perhaps one of the most lasting pieces of advice my dad has ever given, and I'm not even certain he ever said it directly to me. He's a wrestling and football coach, and one year I helped out by taking stats for the team. At a long, ten hour day tournament, he was coaching one of the dozens of matches that would take place. I watched as one of his best wrestlers struggled to pin his man- he was so close, nearly had him. My dad called out just two words to him: "get tough." And he did; a look of determination came across his face and he pushed the final distance to win the match. "Get tough" may not seem all that profound, I realize. But as I went through the rest of high school, miserable, long track practices and sleepless nights as finals and graduation approached, I realized how much those words meant. Sometimes the only way to do it is to do it. To just keep moving forward, keep working, and get tough. Sometimes the winds will be a hurricane, and all you can do is adjust the sails.

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How I Got a Full Tuition College Scholarship

People always give me weird looks when I tell them I have a full tuition scholarship. Looks like “I didn’t think you were that smart” or “I’d like to smother you with a throw pillow.” I can definitely see where they are coming from; I have, on many separate occasions, gotten lost on the three block drive from my apartment to my best friend’s. I have just learned, last week, the correct usage of the word “myriad.” I am, in short, a mere mortal, who has landed a full tuition, jealous-pillow-smother-worthy scholarship. And I’m about to tell you how I did it. Step one: acknowledge that

EVERYONE HAS LIED TO YOU.

All throughout high school, I was very familiar with the phrase “it will look good on college applications.” Like, “extracurriculars look good on college applications,” or “get me a diet coke because it will look good on college applications.” I’m trying to imply here that it was used as a motivator to make me want to do things that basically sucked. Like investing time and effort that I barely had to spare for the ultimate goal of getting that elusive college scholarship. As it turns out the only thing that really mattered on my college applications were two numbers—ACT score and GPA. That’s about it. There was literally a graph on the admissions pamphlet that matched up these two factors for scholarship eligibility. And it did not matter that I struggled through one season of track, during which time I desperately yearned either for death or an eighties sitcom turn of events that would allow me to come in first after everyone else tripped. It also did not matter that I took advanced placement classes, and the heavier workload that came with them. I guess the wisdom that I’m ultimately trying to impart here is that you should do the bare minimum work to preserve your GPA and do well on standardized tests, and if anyone tries to motivate you to do extra work with the promise of more appealing college applications, you should tell them to shove it. Unless you’re going to an Ivy League school I highly advocate a lifestyle of doing the absolute minimum and saving your time for more important pursuits, such as lying in your bed and browsing the internet for six to eight hours at a time. I know I wish I had.

I realize this makes it sound like I don’t care about your actual ultimate goal of getting an education, and that’s not the case; I took an AP English class, for elective credit, that I still use and refer to to this day. So if you’re passionate about something, do that. Take the classes you love. Learn what you care about. But in the case of my scholarship and many others, it was really a question of numbers. It doesn’t mean these numbers truly reflect your intelligence, it doesn’t mean that these numbers determine how hard you work or what kind of person you are. But they matter, if only for the sole purpose of college tuition. So don’t feel like you have to spend your time working on things that won’t improve your grades and don’t matter to you personally for the sake of getting into college.

 Put your effort where it counts

As I’ve previously mentioned, the two factors that basically landed me my scholarship were my slightly above average GPA (a 3.8, if you must know.) and a fairly high ACT score. This is where I impart the only true knowledge I have to offer—work your butt off on the ACT or SAT, depending on which is most important to your colleges of choice. Take the ACT as many times as you can make yourself, and learn how to do it better between attempts. I took a class after my first endeavor, and my score improved a whopping five points the next time I tested. This is one of the only times I advocate making extra effort. I mean that sincerely. Do not run track. It will only hurt your lungs and already fragile self-esteem. Those shorts don’t look good on anyone. Least of all your pasty white legs (do I still have some unresolved feelings about this?). Here are the most helpful resources I used while I studied:

• http://www.powerscore.com/sat/help/content_practice_tests.cfm

This site has pdf versions of four act test booklets and the practice tests in them, and practice SAT tests as well. Sit down with an afternoon and work through them—it helps with nerves to know exactly what you’re up against, and it also helps with content knowledge and testing that your skills are where they need to be.

• http://www.sparknotes.com/testprep/books/act/chapter14section3.rhtml

This was seriously a game changer for me! The first time I took the science section of the ACT I tried to read and comprehend the whole thing, and I was terrified. This outlines the three kinds of questions on the science ACT: Data Representation, Research Summaries, and Conflicting Viewpoints. They’re easily identifiable. The second time I took the science section, I did it with the strategy on SparkNotes (link above), which is essentially to do Data Representation first, without reading the whole passage (just the graph), then determining which of the other two question types you’re more comfortable with and doing them in that order. I improved seven points, which really made the difference for me.

• My final resource is your library. You can check out tons of prep materials for free, books that will have plenty of practice tests and wisdom in them. It’s incredibly helpful.

Dream Average

I think it goes without saying that you have to be all kinds of extraordinary to land a scholarship to an Ivy League school, or to a fiercely competitive, big name college. And I think it also goes without saying that I do not go to one of those schools. But I do go to a school with a beautiful campus, incredible professors, and literally the most fun I have had yet in my life in the form of great student activities and campus life. 

 I’ve loved every minute of it, and I’ve learned so much, which is partially because it is a small school where the professor to student ratio is high. So dream average: consider state colleges and smaller schools because often they offer great scholarships. I graduated with a girl who was literally drunk most weekends in high school, and she has a full tuition scholarship to a small, gorgeous school across the country. So don’t rule out smaller or less prestigious schools when applying. I’m really glad I didn’t. 

Hopefully this helps! Best of luck, and remember, if nothing else, dream average and don’t run track. 

With Love,

Kate

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